How to Tell a Good Story
Adapted from The Charismatic Leader: 21 Skills to Connect with People by John C. Maxwell
Storytelling is an important tool for leaders. It is a skill that comes with practice, and fortunately, anyone can learn to develop it. If you don’t have much experience with it, or you would like to improve, then allow me to give you a few tips:
SHARE SOMETHING YOU’VE EXPERIENCED
The stories we tell the best are the ones we’ve lived. We care about them, we know the material, and we know how they have affected us. And because they are ours, we can shape and embellish them any way we want. Everybody has had experiences that others would be interested in.
Think about the times in your life when something dramatic, frightening, heart-warming, or funny happened to you. What was the suspenseful moment at the center of the story? What do you need to say to set it up? What is the punchline or payoff? You want the whole story to build to that. After you’ve thought these ideas through, start working out how to tell it. The best stories relay everything needed for the story with style and emotion while leaving out anything unnecessary.
Once you believe you have an approach for telling the story, try it out on someone. Pay attention to how they react. When were they most engaged? If you started to lose their attention, where in the story did that happen? Did they respond to the punchline the way you hoped? Make adjustments to it and tell it again. Keep improving it and telling it to new people until you get the results you desire. The way to become a good storyteller is to start out as a bad one and keep working to improve.
TELL STORIES WITH THE GOAL OF CONNECTING
The people who have the toughest time telling stories are the ones who try to impress others with them. If that describes you, then change your goal. Impressing people is difficult. Instead, tell stories with the purpose of connecting with people. Put the focus on the listener, and your storytelling skills will improve overnight.
PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT
People love humor, but not everyone can tell a funny story. If you can, go with it. But never underestimate the power of a story from the heart. If you want evidence, look at the sales figures of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books! Almost anyone can share a story that connects emotionally. If you want to tell a connecting story, make it warm. Put your heart into it. And don’t be afraid to show people that you care about what you’re talking about.
ASSUME THAT OTHERS WANT TO HEAR IT
One of the biggest mistakes novice storytellers make is being tentative. Nothing makes a story go flat more quickly than a timid delivery. If you’re going to tell a story, be bold. Be energetic. Be engaging. Go for it, or don’t go at all.
Good stories can be long or short, true or fictional, personal or sweeping. I love telling brief stories that have one of the four Hs: heart, hope, humor, or help. I also love telling elaborate tales of adventures I’ve been on, like when I talked myself and three family members onto the Old Course in Scotland without a scheduled tee time. Or the story of how I encouraged my nephew Eric to score his first home run in Little League.
Painter Benjamin West used to tell a story about himself as a boy. He said when his mother left the house, he would get out the oils and try to paint. One day when he pulled out paints, brushes, paper, and other supplies, he made a terrible a mess. When he realized his mother would be home soon, he tried desperately to get everything cleaned up, but he didn’t make it. When she walked into the room, he prepared for the worst. But, West said, what his mom did next completely surprised him. She picked up his painting, looked at it, and said, “My, what a beautiful painting of your sister.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked away. With that kiss, West said, he became a painter.
What stories can you tell to connect with people, help them, and inspire them? The better you become at telling stories, the more it will help you to communicate with others and lead them. Through stories you can cast vision, break tension, teach skills, rally people, and build organizations. Great storytellers are relatable, charming, and charismatic. Work to become one.
The Charismatic Leader
Is charisma essential for every leader? Absolutely, because at its core, leadership is about influence—nothing more, nothing less. This reality underscores the importance of engaging effectively with others. The Charismatic Leader: 21 Skills for Connecting with People unveils John Maxwell’s roadmap to more impactful leadership through the power of charisma.
By adopting a mindset that prioritizes others—transforming every “Here I am!” into a heartfelt “Ah, there you are!”—you can light up any room and create deep, meaningful connections.